


Tommy and the Asgardians

by Fools_Rush_In_TAZ



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Movie Night, Domestic, Fluff, Humor, Movie Night, No Angst, Spoilers for The Room (2003)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fools_Rush_In_TAZ/pseuds/Fools_Rush_In_TAZ
Summary: Movie night at Spider-Man's house goes sideways as Loki reveals secrets about the film.





	Tommy and the Asgardians

More than all the Asgardians, Thor loved the mortal world. Humanity was so full of surprises, and so vigorous in it’s pursuit of art and beauty. For these reasons, and for so many others, Thor and Peter Parker were fast friends. 

Loki, meanwhile, loathed humanity and their arts. Humans were slow, predictable. Loki loved a challenge, and as the god of mischief, the humans were simply to easy to fool. Conning the Asgardians to believe that he was almighty Odin, that was steak and potatoes; conning these humans was candy.

Still, on occasion, Loki did have a bit of a sweet tooth, and no one could satisfy it like the young Spider Man. The boy was so genuine and open, Loki could play him like a secondhand piano. So, when Peter invited the two gods over to Aunt May’s apartment for a movie night, they both happily agreed, each expecting their own very different satisfaction.

Evening arrived, and the gods appeared on the fire escape. May opened the window, and they crawled inside. Peter sat on the floor, legs crossed beneath him, rewinding the VHS tape his uncle had given him years ago. 

“Hey, you guys made it! Awesome! How ya doing, Mr. Thor?” The boy ran to the god of thunder and embraced him.

Thor set Mjolnir down and wrapped a mighty arm around Peter. “Hello, young Peter! We are well. What fare have you for us today?”

“Aw, you’re gonna love it! It’s like the best movie ever!” Peter said. “Hey Mr. Loki, how are you?”

Loki smiled. “Hail, boy. Well met.” He flopped heavily down on the couch and put his arms behind his head. “By all means, begin the film. I’m sure it will be worthy of the time of two mighty gods.”

Thor slapped Loki’s ankles, and he lifted his feet so Thor could sit down. Peter curled up on the ground beneath the couch, and began the film. At first, Loki could not have been less involved. He cleaned his fingernails, checked his Twitter, and generally checked out. However, as the leading woman began her machinations and the drama picked up in earnest, a change fell over Loki. He became enraptured like Thor had never seen him before. Jaw slack, eyes wide, Loki followed the tribulations and exploits of the characters with singular focus. Thor could swear he saw tears in his brother’s eyes as the film reached it’s tragic climax.

Then it was over, and the credits rolled. 

Thor turned to Loki to laugh, to talk about how silly the movie was, and found Loki weeping into his hands. So affected was Loki, he was spilling his carefully controlled emotions out for all to see.

“Aw, jeez, Mr. Loki,” Peter said. “I’ve never seen anybody get so worked up about The Room before.”

“Don’t you see, boy?” Loki asked. “The mischief of Lisa, her selfishness, her clear pursuit of her goals; she’s everything I ever wanted to be.” 

“She’s the bad guy, sir,” Peter said. “Like, she ruins everything.”

“How chauvinist of you, Peter. Her insolent fiance abuses her, controls her, subjugates her, and you suppose she should be patient and obedient in the face of all this? Nay.”

“But that’s the whole moral of the thing, sir. Don’t do wrong by your partner.”

“As ignorant as ever, boy. The ‘moral’, if you are so desperate to find one, is this: if you strike the king, you must kill him. You have one chance to free yourself from oppression, boy. Take it, or marry your boring businessman and enjoy your meaningless life. Lisa took it, and she succeeded.”

“But Johnny killed himself, brother,” Thor said. “That is a bad outcome.”

“Fool!” Loki snarled. “Johnny’s blood is on his own hands. Lisa owns none of it. It was his choice to destroy himself, and hers to liberate herself. Who came off better?”

“But if she had just chosen a stranger instead of Johnny’s best friend, Johnny would have lived,” Peter said. “That was a real mean thing to do, wasn’t it?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Well, I suppose if you’re ‘nice,’ I will offer a second moral: Don’t shit where you eat. Find a strange man to cheat on your fiance with, and don’t contaminate the entire social group. But where is the fun in that?”

“What about all the side plots that don’t go anywhere? The mother’s cancer, the drug thing. Doesn’t that bother you, artistically?”

“Doesn’t life have various subplots that go nowhere? Isn’t that how your life has always been? I recall a “Garfield” fellow, who had a story about his parents that went nowhere…”

Peter suddenly detached himself from the conversation. He looked down at his phone, engrossed, as he had been doing all evening.

“What are you doing, boy?” Thor asked. “To whom do you speak?”

“No one!” Peter said. “It’s just MJ, she’s a girl at school.”

“Oh ho, you fancy her, do you?” Loki said.

Peter flushed. “What? Her? Pfff, nah,” he lied, poorly.

“May you fare better than Johnny, boy,” Peter said, as he waved his hand, transforming into a familiar foreigner with an improbable face. “I did not play him! I did not! Oh, goodbye Thor.” And he vanished, a small rain of spoons taking his place...


End file.
